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Writing an Obituary: a Guide to Effectively Informing the Community and Loved Ones
When a loved one dies, one of the first steps is to inform the community and loved ones of his or her death. Writing an obituary can be a difficult task in such times of grief. Nevertheless, an obituary is also a way of paying tribute to the deceased and sharing that person’s memory with those who knew and loved them.
Here are a few tips for writing a respectful and meaningful obituary that will also effectively inform those around you following the death of a loved one.
Start with the essential information
In the first few lines of the obituary, it’s essential to include the following information about the deceased:
- Full name
- Age at time of death
- Date of death
These details are essential to clearly identify the person whose death you are announcing. If the person’s last name changed as a result of marriage, you can include a note to that effect. Be sure to carefully check the spelling of names and dates in order to avoid any confusion.
Include details about the deceased’s life
After stating the basic information, it’s appropriate to share details about the deceased’s life. This section can include his or her achievements, interests, hobbies, activities or any other facts that shaped his or her life journey.
For example, if the deceased was an avid volunteer in his or her community, you could mention the causes that were close to his or her heart. If he or she had a successful career, you could mention professional achievements.
Share details of the funeral or celebration of life
If you wish, you can also include information about the funeral or celebration of life in the obituary. Mention the location, date and time of the event as well as any specific instructions, such as requests for charitable donations or dress code guidelines.
Express the family’s wishes
It’s important to respect the family’s wishes regarding the disclosure of additional information. If the family prefers not to receive flowers or would like donations to be made to a specific cause, be sure to clearly state this in the obituary notice.
You can also include information on how the family wishes to be contacted by those who want to express their condolences or offer their support.
Be mindful of readers’ sensitivities
When writing an obituary, bear in mind that readers may be in a period of grief themselves, so choose your words carefully. Adopt a respectful, empathetic tone that reflects your love for the deceased.
For example, avoid overly technical or formal terms that may seem impersonal. Instead, use warm expressions that capture the essence of the person you are honouring.
Add meaningful anecdotes
Memories and anecdotes can add a personal touch to your obituary. Share memorable moments or traits of character unique to the deceased in order to honour his or her memory in an authentic way.
For example, you could tell a funny story about a family trip or a life lesson that the deceased taught you. These memories allow readers to recall the departed loved one with tenderness and affection.
Have someone look over your obituary
Before you publish the obituary, have a trusted family member or friend look it over to make sure it’s error-free and appropriately conveys the information you want to share.
Thorough re-reading can help you detect any inaccuracies or omissions and ensure that the obituary accurately reflects the memory of the deceased.
In short
Remember that every obituary is unique and reflects the life and legacy of the deceased. By choosing your words carefully and sharing meaningful memories, you will create a heartfelt tribute to the person you’ve lost.
The Crématorium Montréal team can assist you in every step of the process following the death of a loved one, including the drafting of an obituary that effectively informs the community and loved ones, while honouring the memory of your loved one.
Here is a sample obituary that you can use as a guide:
In or at [place of death], on [date of death], [name of deceased] [name at birth, if applicable] passed away, at the age of [age of deceased]. [He/She] is survived by [his/her spouse or husband/wife] [first name, if applicable], children [first names, if applicable], grandchildren [first names, if applicable], parents [full names, if applicable], brothers and sisters [full names, if applicable] and a number of nephews, nieces, relatives and friends [if applicable].
[Name of deceased] was known for [qualities or personality traits]. [His/her] way of [anecdote] is a memory we will always cherish.
The family will hold a [farewell ceremony/celebration of life] on [date], at [time], at [location and complete address].
The [cremation/burial ceremony] will take place on [date], at [time], at [location and complete address].
In lieu of flowers, we encourage you to make a donation to [name of organization] in memory of [name of deceased].